The (M)Adman Diaries Part II: Overzealous AEs

The following story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, yada-yada-yakity-yak…

… the verbatims are all REAL, though.

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry it took me this long to follow up on my last entry. My migraine is gone. Thanks to my friend, and her wonderful, wonderful drug called “Exedrin”. I just took one pill and it hit me like an anvil.

I was going to take Wizard's advice and buy Imatrex but I forgot the name when I went to our pharmacist...

“Miss, do you have Ime--- Imi --- Imu --- (running out of vowels) Imo ---

“Imodium?”

She blurted out, loud enough so everybody in the room would know that I have diarrhea. I was gone faster than she can say LBM.

I hate it when they do that. I remember when I was still in college and I’d go to the drugstore to buy me some “protection”. I’d sneak into an empty void from a sea of sweaty customers, patiently waiting for a pharmacist to notice me and take my order. I never waved my hand to call their attention. I just waited. (Hey, I was only a student then, and I happen to be in a very conservative country, where talking about premature sex in public always raise an eyebrow or two. Ironically so since single parenthood statistics are going through the roof.) And when finally one of them pharmacist approaches, I make sure I whisper clearly, yet very discreetly, what I want to purchase. Almost always, the pharmacist would yell back to make sure they heard me right.

“AH… CONDOM!”

“ANONG FLAVOR?” (What Flavor?)

I shriveled in embarrassment and slowly retracted my footsteps. Could you imagine my grandma buying vaginal wash from the same pharmacist? Or my grandpa buying a box of Viagra?

Anyway, like I was saying, I finally got rid of that pesky menace called migraine. However, I have yet to find out the source. Who triggered my migraine and what did he or she do, better yet say that made me dizzy and nauseous?

I was done listing some unforgettable conversations with clients. I, however, felt that I have to give them the benefit of the doubt. What about our own? The same people who inhabit the place I work? Why not? I spend more time with them than I do with my clients.

Hmm… the witch hunt continues.

Could be it be our Account Executives?

Don’t get me wrong, Diary, AEs are such wonderful colleagues. They are, most of the time, very efficient, hardworking and resourceful. (I really have to say this because Blair Mitch, Gorgeous Noelle, and Celine - God forbid, she's a futsal player - might kick me in the balls). No, seriously, they're great AEs. And I have worked with a lot of good ones too. Some of them even carry a powerful, yet rare weapon in their arsenal – Beauty & Brains. However, in advertising as well as in life, there are some bad apples.

Take this AE, for instance:

AE: “I can’t see the website from my laptop, all I see is numbers.”

AD (Art Director): “What kind of numbers?”

AE: “I think it’s one of those HTML codes.”

AD: “Have you tried connecting to the Internet?”

AE: (Defensive) “You think I'm stupid? You think I don’t know that I need to connect to the internet before I can access the website??”

AD: “So, you’re connected. Can you read the message from the browser?”

AE: “What browser?”

AD: “Internet Explorer. Or Mozilla Firefox. The one you use to open a webpage!”

AE: “I’m using Microsoft Word…”

How ‘bout these guys:

“Wow, your web banner design looks great! Let’s print a copy to present to the client. Make sure it’s animated!”

“Woohoo! Guys! Good news! The client has agreed to shoot on a bigger budget! We have HIV!”
- Account Director, announcing that a TV spot would be filmed in HD (High Definition) Video.

“What a coincidence! I have the same sticker in my computer at home!”
(Account Executive to a copywriter, pointing at the newly-installed CPU in his desk. The sticker reads: Intel Inside)

“Please, I need the design for a circular sticker. Measures: 20 x 40 centimeters.”
(Agency, Account Executive)

“We need your help. According to what I understood from the client, we have to put subtitles on the radio spots. Is that doable?”

What about the AEs who have Arithmophobia (fear of numbers)?

AE: “Can you print the logo and send it to me?”

AD: “Sure thing. What size?”

AE: “As big as you can so we can use it for other assignments.”

AD: “8 X 10?”

AE: “Hmm… how about… 70 meters?”

Another incident:

AE: “If we do the poster 40 centimeters wide and the height in proportion, will it look awful?”

Media: “No, it would still be in proportion.”

AE: “OK. What if do it in 20 centimeters wide and the height in proportion?”

And yet another:

AD: “How do I layout the copy?”

AD: “Hmmm... just make it centered... to the left.”

These two however, deserve special honors:

AD #1:

AD: “We can’t use this painting for the print ad.”

AE: “Why not? We have money. We can buy the rights!”

AD: “Wha—you don’t understand! This painting is…”

AE: (Feeling smug) “Nonsense! I will contact the artist now! What’s his name?"

AD: (Nonchalant) "Vincent Van Gogh"

Silence. The AD waits for the Ae’s reaction. Instead, she picks up a notepad and writes.

AD: "Ok, I will call him now and get his approval."

AD #2 (during a pre-production for a print ad):

AD: “Ok. About this photo. Are we going to buy a royalty-free image from the web, or are we going to use a talent and shoot?” - The photo in question is that of a Dinosaur.

(Next post: The (M)Adman Diaries Part III: Crazy Creatives)

The (M)Adman Diaries Part I: Evul Clients

(Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

However, the verbatims are all REAL.)

Dear Diary,

I was on leave today. Migraine – had it for the longest time. They say it’s a common disease for admen - people working in advertising - especially creatives. We deal with a lot of stress, that’s why.

I spent half the day catching some long-lost sleep. The other half, thinking what triggered my migraine besides the lack of it. Pardon my rambling; I’ve had four Advils already.

What could’ve caused it? Better yet, who? As I ponder and recall previous discussions with the people I deal with every single day at work, I began to wonder…

Could it be my clients?

Could it be the high-maintenance client who makes demands as if he owns our souls even though he only contributes to 1/1,116 of our billings?

“It’s just a minor revision. We’re just changing the copy and layout of the whole print ad. And, oh, the concept doesn’t fit so we might want to change that as well.”

Asked what exactly he wants and when he needs it, the humble client replied:

"It’s simple really: I want you to come up with something that’s never been done before; something that touches hearts and minds all around the world. Oh, and I need it by 11 tomorrow morning."

Could it also be the client who knows what he wants, so much that he wants everything present in his ads?

"We love option 1. It is by far the cleanest layout. We'd just like to add a little contact information. Just the call to action, website and 8 of our partners’ logos. You guys are the artists. Just do your thing to make sure it’s not too cluttered. I mean, hey, you really can’t read all that information in a billboard, can you?”

What about the client who can't make up his mind?

Account Exec: (yelling sarcastically) "Finally! The client has given us FINAL approval! He just asked if we could change one small thing. Woohoo!"

(From a client’s email):

“Please be reminded that we are selling a superior product. It is the best in the market. However, we can’t put this in print because we can’t prove it, and we don’t want the people to know that it’s not. So can you just say it’s superior without really saying superior?”

Could it be the unprofessional ones?

Client: (Raging) “You always send me the layouts too late. I will not approve them like this!”

Creative: “But we sent them at 2 pm…”

Client: “Yes, but I just got to the office at 6pm!”

Or worse, those that are just plain stupid?

(Dumbfounded) "You guys are giving me a hard time here. How on earth do you expect me to put the link on my desktop when you know I only have a laptop?"

(A telephone conversation:)

Client: “There’s a little spot on the HTML.”

Artist: “Where?”

Client: “Between the pictures and the description. I move around the little arrow and the spot stays there. Is it a mistake in the HTML code?”

Artist: “I don’t know about a spot, it’s very strange. Maybe your monitor is dirty?”

Client: (Pauses for a while, then shouted) “Oh, yes! Yes! You’re a genius!”

(During a client brief):

“Ok, here’s what the problem is. Our bank is losing many clients, especially the retired senior citizens. The main reason for this is their death. Our objective is simple: get those clients back.”

Worse, stupid clients who act smart or those who won’t admit they have any idea how advertising works:

“I asked for the photo in high resolution! I can’t work like this! A photo is in high resolution when I can’t see it in my computer!”

Client: “Can you change the word ‘exquisite’ on the ad? I personally think that any words including the letter X are way too complicated for our market to comprehend.”

Copywriter: (Sarcastically) "You mean like, axe... and sex?"

Silence

Client: "Just change the damn word!" (and leaves the room)

"This flyer is urgent! I don't know how you do it but just do it so it fits an envelope. Just like the one I'm holding now".

(Client to creative... on a phone conversation)

You see, dear diary, I’m at a lost as to what or who caused my migraine. To make it worse, clients are not the only smart people in the world of advertising. Sometimes, skull-cracking comments like the ones above are caused by the same people we work with. That’s right. People from advertising.

But I'll just save that for my next entry. It’s getting late and it’s time for my 5^th pill. I better hit the sack early as I still have to figure out what to do with those darn flyers.

Good night.

(Next post: The (M)Adman Diaries Part II: Account Executives)

Timeout for Thank Yous

Greetings from the Kingdom of Midlandia.

I, in behalf of her Majesty the Queen, Crowned Prince Carlos and Princess Bianca wish to extend our most deepest gratitude to the good citizens of Bloggerville who have sent their most heartfelt felicitations on her Royal Highness Supreme’s 8^th birthday.

Ever the humble royal, the Princess took off her crown and majestic gown for one day and observed this momentous occasion with her family in the most intimate of gatherings. Hence, we celebrated this special day according to her desire.

This involved visiting a neighboring resort for an early morning dip in the pool, where the Princess exchanged a few laps with her brother, Prince Carlos, whom she always beat fair and square despite the fact that he’s a year and a half older. Queen Joy, ever the loving mother and wife, prepared a picnic of scrumptious sandwiches and lemon ice tea.

Come lunch time, it was my turn to delight the Princess with an exquisite dish. And so I toiled in the kitchen for more than 2 hours preparing her favorite Kaldereta recipe – a Filipino version of Beef Stew – and salad.

Not long after, the royal chamber became busy when the real celebration began to take place. Aunt Countess Chech arrived directly from a flight from Canada just to be with her niece on this special occasion. Aunt Princess Julie, though still sick from a slipped disk she suffered from playing Polo, grabbed her cane and joined the soiree. The royal grandsfolk were also present – The Old and Wise King Bert and of course, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. Then there are the children – a select few of the Princess’ loyal friends coming in from various kingdoms. Those who didn’t make it, like her grandmother Empress Rose, her aunt Dutchess Rozelle and uncle Duke Edzel of Georgia, USA sent their gifts and cheerful greetings.

Dinner was intimate yet special, as we had our feast of the regal barbecue, colonial fried chicken, majestic mango cake, ice cream supreme, and of course, the inevitable royal spaghetti. After dinner, the Princess opened her gifts. But the most wonderful surprise came when I ushered her in front of the imperial computer. Before opening the internet browser, I told her a story.

I told her that a true Princess is loved by many. That a real Princess touches the lives of not only the people around her, but also those who are living far, far away from her kingdom. I told her that a real Princess radiates beauty that spreads throughout continents. It breaks the barriers of time, distance, age, gender, and race.

And just when I thought I saw her forehead starting to wrinkle in confusion, we opened her last gift. There it laid, right before her eyes, a picture of a Princess with a lovely poem just below it. She began to read. I told her to scroll down and she did, until she stumbled upon something very familiar. Her photo! A Happy Birthday greeting with her name on it! I tried to read her expression. It was a mixture of shock and awe. And then, almost inevitably, she blurted, “That’s me!” I nodded. “I’m on the internet!” she added, calling on her brother. I told her to click on the comments below. Being older and having a louder voice, I asked Carlos to read the messages. What followed was a series of queries and surprises. First, she asked who these people are, why they know her name and why they know it’s her birthday. Then, after explaining to her how a real Princess is known to have many friends from around the world, she blurted, “I want to meet them!”

She inquired about The Wizard. Asking if she really is what she says she is, and I showed her the photos of her enchanting forest. She asked me about Dirk, a bit frightened of his photo at first, until I told him that he is a very gentle, kind man who’s expecting the birth of his own Prince. She asked me about DNR and why he’s wearing a skeleton mask when Halloween is already over. She asked me about all these fascinating people, and every time I come up with an answer, I smiled. Looking at my Princess and how obviously surprised she is with this little gift, I smiled.

Later at night, before she retired, she remembered. She asked me to print a copy for her to show in school. Lastly, she asked me to tell all these people, these wonderful, wonderful people thank you. Just then, knowing how 8 year-olds almost always prefer to receive than to give and forget to say thank you when the presence of a gift steals their attention, I felt glad. Knowing that somehow, I did something right.

And so, in behalf of her Majesty Queen Joy, Crowned Prince Carlos and Royal Highness Supreme Princess Bianca, I, humble King Russkal of Midlandia wish to say THANK YOU to the great, loving and caring citizens of Bloggerville for your support and participation in this noble endeavor.

Believe me when I say, we can’t thank you enough.

Timeout for A Princess

I’m taking a time out with my Princess.

For 8 years ago today, she was born. Her name is Bianca, a sweet, noodle-haired bundle of joy. And this is her day. This is her time. This is her poem.

 Life is fleeting, years rush past....

and little girls grow up so fast.

Let me take time out to be

glad that mine's still here with me.

And though I'm busy through the day,

let me take time out to play...

Let me take time out to smile,

to linger with her for a while...

To invite her under the table for tea

and dress up silly as can be.

Let me take time out to sing

and dance and skip

and twirl and swing...

To splash in puddles when it rains

and make her fancy daisy chains.

Let me take time out to hear

about the things that she holds dear.

Let me tuck her in at night,

hear her prayers, turn off the light.

And for one more moment let me pray

and thank God that we shared this day.

Happy, happy birthday my sweet, sweet Princess!

Every little girl dreams of becoming a princess. My little Bianca is no exception. And today, with your help, I want to make her dream a reality.

Imagine the look in her eyes when she opens the comment box and reads all your majestic greetings! So, if you would, please send your wishes to Princess Bianca below.

Many thanks from the Kingdom of Midlandia.

Enjoy the silence

Hush.

Don’t be scared. Sit still. Can you hear your heart beat?

Since the beginning of 2007, I have always felt this tingling sensation in my stomach. No, it’s not the kind of emotion caused by fluttering butterflies, nor the ones caused by nervousness and anticipation. Nor panic.

It’s the kind that hits you like a battering ram and leave you unconscious. Without caution. Without pain. Without any physical manifestation. None, other than…

Silence.

It’s unbearable, this feeling of lightness. To not utter a single word. To suddenly hear nothing but your heartbeat. And yet you allow it to happen. You don’t even consider to speak. You don’t even think. As Milan Kundera said, “When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.”

Suddenly, everything’s clearer. Everything that I have ignored, wittingly or otherwise, are slowly revealing. Everything that have been right there in front of my eyes that I have failed to notice.

Breathe.

My sister has slipped disc. She acquired it 3 days before Christmas and she has spent the Holidays lying in the couch. Immobile from her waist down, she chose the couch than the bed because she doesn’t want to feel locked up in her room. My parents keep her company during bedtime by sleeping in a mattress in the living room. They have postponed countless party invitations, the annual reunion and spending Christmas Eve with my relatives because my sister couldn’t join. They spent New Year’s Eve locked up inside the house. She has been receiving therapy on a daily basis.

My dad has kidney stones. I personally rushed him to the ER twice in 2006 and the doctors gave him some kind of medication to cure his ailment. The problem with my dad is, like me, he’s not a big fan of medicines. He always say, he’ll get better, that the medicines are too expensive, or, if he runs out of excuses, he just tells us that he simply forgets. Right now, he’s taking up herbal medicines – a tea that’s suppose to melt the stones and rid him of whatever it is that’s bothering him. Up to know, we constantly remind him to drink it.

My mother has hypertension and all these problems aren’t helping her to relax and stay calm at all.

My wife had her share of health misfortune with a visit to the hospital’s emergency room during the first week of December. Thank God she’s ok now.

Amidst all these - health problems with my family, I managed to retain my cool. I am a busy man. A very busy man that have always shown support to his family during their times of need, at least whenever he can. Time is of the essence. I hate wasting time therefore I always make sure I do whatever I want, when I want. I got used to this pace that I have started living life like a race, leaving all the worries and troubles behind, in a blur, as I dashed into life like a mad man.

Inhale.

Now, in the calming presence of silence, I realized that I have buried my head into the sand. Like a coward, I have hidden what I truly feel, or felt about what my family is going through, and the support I have given them is not enough. I’ve always hidden behind my excuses that I have started to become indifferent. I have chosen not to notice these problems and carried on with my daily routines. I have chosen to live a carefree life. No worries. Everything’s going to be fine. I concentrated too much on pushing forward that I left so many things behind. In the process, I kept a safe distance. Away from all the trouble and pain. Away from harm.

Exhale.

The moment of silence has given me what I didn’t have, living a fast-paced, driven lifestyle. Clarity.

Thank God, it couldn’t have arrived at a better timing.

It’s the New Year. 2007. I have now survived 3 decades, and in 2 and a half months time, I will be enjoying the last year my age will be in the calendar. What better time to regain my focus. To stop and finally, smell the flowers. What better time to pause, take a breather and enjoy the silence.

It’s 2007. It’s going to be a great year. I know, as long as I take my time.

The Countdown Begins

Tic-toc-tic-toc.

You have 9 hours.

It’s now Sunday, December 31, 2006 here in Manila. New Year’s Eve.

Kids are already throwing firecrackers in the street, dads are calculating how much they’re going to spend in fireworks, and moms are busy shopping for polka-dot clothes and ANY round fruit they can find.

No worries. It’s all good. Never mind that firecrackers are unsafe and a handful of people (mostly children) are rushed to the emergency room with mangled hands every year. Never mind that people are wasting a sizeable portion of their year’s earnings for fireworks that will only light up for a few seconds. Never mind the stress, the hassle, of scouring for 12 assorted round fruits in a crowded wet market. Never mind that you look like a clown on a polka-dot blouse. Nevrmind all the touble (except for the mangled hands. I always imply a no firecracker rule in my family). It’s New Year’s Day. It only happens once a year anyway.

Largely influenced by Chinese Feng Shui, Filipinos have a template for celebrating New Year. We light up firecrackers, honk our car horns, bang metal drums, pots and pans and make all kinds of noise (when all things above aren’t available, you can just scream at the top of your lungs) when the clock hits 12 to drive away evil spirits. We wear polka-dotted clothes and adorn our homes with anything round, hang grapes on our window sills, and create a centerpiece out of 12 assorted round fruits on the table (because “round” symbolizes coins or money) for prosperity. Some vertically-challenged people jump, hoping they’ll gain a few inches to their height in the coming year. Yes, even adults.

We do all this things, and a lot of other quirky practices, because even if we’re not Chinese, we are faithful. We are believers, not to be mistaken as gullible. Besides, like we always say, “Wala namang mawawala eh” (“There’s no harm in trying anyway”).

No harm indeed, except for the mangled limbs.

Ooops, 8 hours. Time to dig into the vault and look for my red polka-dot boxers.

Happy New Year, everyone! May 2007 bring you and your family PEACE, LOVE & PROSPERITY!

Here’s my

GIFT

to you. (Make sure your speakers are on)

Cheers!

My First Meme

Rookie alert!

Ok. I don’t know how memes work. Hell, I even thought at first that it’s pronounced as me-me or mey-mey). Anyway, I saw this one from Pepper and it caught my interest. Needless to say, I asked her permission to copy it as a personal reference, and she said yes, and that I can post it so she can see what I have written in bold. So I’m posting it below. I don’t know if she has tagged me (what’s a tag anyway? How do you know if you’ve been tagged?), but it’s been fun to do. So here it is. Thanks, Pepper. Don't worry, I'm no elf-killer

Rules – copy the list and bold face the items you’ve done. Wait for some comments then answer the questions.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Driven anything over 100 MPH
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise (I had a near death experience before when I got hospitalized for Hypokalemia. My whole body was paralyzed and I couldn’t breathe because of pneumonia, so I didn’t sleep, fearing that I won’t be able to wake up.)
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (school project)
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne (I have amazingly low threshold on alcoholic drinks)
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run (school practice)
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer (still do)
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing (It ain’t that steep but hey, it sure is rocky).
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow and a goat too
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class (Arnis in college)
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie (a short documentary)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days (Hospital food doesn’t count as food, ok?)
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music (a demo for our rock band)
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (still raising)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking (always)
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication (Manila Bulletin)
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show (consolation prize for The Quiz Bee, I was only 10 then)
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (again, hospital)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish)
137. Skipped all your school reunions (never been to any)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office (does school council count?)
140. Written your own computer language (basic HTML)
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

It's over.

It’s now 37 minutes past midnight here in Manila. December 26, 2006.

It’s official. Christmas is finally over. Gone. Kaput. The end.

The in-laws have left. And so did the pesky carolers. The rib eye steak, the waldorf salad and pasta carbonara are now a thing of the past along with the Fiesta ham and ube halaya (purple yam). By the time I’m writing this, all that’s left in the fridge are a half-empty bottle of Chiraz, some chocolate-chip cookies and Washington red apples. Thank God there’s no fruitcake.

And so it goes.

Another countdown begins. 364 days to go ‘till Christmas 2007. Time to shed off the extra calories gained and write the mandatory annual New Year’s resolutions. It’s also during this time that people begin pondering, “I wonder what’s waiting for me next year?” “Will I finally meet Mr. Right?” “Will I finally get my break?” “Can we survive?” “What to do with this damn fruitcake?” Questions that are often kept inside and are somehow, almost always, answered by well-wisher’s clichés. One friend even had the answer for everything with a single text message. It reads, “Merry Christmas! May you have a lot of food to eat, a prosperous career, a blooming love life, and a successful new year”. Well, almost everything except the fruitcake.

What lies ahead maybe uncertain, but it is with this uncertainty that life becomes a year-long challenge. Christmas may now be over, gone, along with the text barrage of well-wishers, friends and relatives spreading good tidings, Christmas trees, mistletoes and tinsels back into storage, but the prospect of waiting for 364 days before it’s here once again is proof that people have faith.

The faith that even if we don’t get what we want in the year 2007, even if Mr. Right doesn’t come along and job promotions doesn’t happen, even if we barely survived, there’s always 364 more days to look forward to. It’s human nature. We climb and fall. We leap. We hope. We wait.

For 364 days.

And so, to my friends and family and fellow bloggers, I hope you get what you want this Christmas and the coming New Year. In case you don’t, here’s a message from the bottom of my heart:

“Merry Christmas! May you have a lot of food to eat, a prosperous career, a blooming love life, and a successful new year!”

I still don’t have an answer to that fruitcake though.

Wow

That’s all I can say. Wow.

It’s now officially less than 24 hours away before Christmas. That time of year. Where everyone’s jolly and merry and spreading good cheer. It never really hit me until now. Have I been working that hard?

Wow. It's been a week of rants and raves.

I rant.

I have been working like a sheep dog this past few days, been pulling overtime, chasing never-ending deadlines and trying to balance family life with daily brainstorming sessions and client presentations. The fact that it’s almost the holidays makes it even worse. Nonetheless, I have no choice. And so, I toiled, leaving behind two rascals with the Playstation during their holiday vacation, a spouse clamoring for a shopping chauffeur, and two toy poodles begging for a yuletide groom.

I have squeezed my brain of all its juice and worked my ass off. I have endured 3 hour sleeps and 3 hour travels. I have hustled, bustled and dazzled clients in looong presentations. All in the 2^rd week of December. I have undergone corporate apocalypse while most people fight their way to the last pair of jeans on a midnight sale. I have, lamentably and disappointingly, left the Midnight Oil flickering, burning slowly on its last flame. I never knew what to expect when I return. I, for sure, thought that it’s the end. But…

Wow.

I have worked hard and now I am reaping my rewards. And what wonderful rewards awaited me. What astounding accolades. What pride. What gratitude. What joy.

I rave.

A couple of days ago, one of the most prestigious award-giving bodies in the Philippine advertising industry proclaimed the winners of the 2006 Araw Values Award, awarding chosen local advertisements in print, radio and TV based on creativity, and the following cornerstone values:

1. Love of God and respect for religious beliefs.
   
2. Commitment to truth, honesty and justice.
   
3. Love of country and respect for national customs and traditions.
   
4. Reverence for family unity and the inviolability of marriage.
   
5. Respect and care for human life and dignity and the rights of all.
   
6. Respect for law and authority and the promotion of self-discipline.
   
7. Concern for and preservation of environment.

The criteria? 45% values message. 45% creative excellence, and 10% credibility.

I had 4 entries from my previous ad agency. All of which won.

Wow.

Winning a creative award is special. Bagging a Clio, Ney York Ad fest, One Show pencil or a Cannes Lions prove that you are up there, in the higher echelon of creative geniuses. Sure. But winning a Values award means that you are not only creative with your work, but you are also sending out a message of hope, truth, unity, respect and aim to uplift human morals and principles. You be the judge. Which one takes harder work?

My entries were mostly TV and radio ads. The client, Manila North Luzon Tollways Corporation, is a private developer of public highways and infrastructures. The project is the newly renovated North Luzon Expressway. I could tell you more about the project and bore you to death with the details but let’s just say that the ads promote road safety and responsbile driving, and show how a highway’s makeover can change the lives of the motorists, and give the country's economy a much needed lift.

And then, there’s another.

Fearing that my newly-found blogging friends got turned off by seeing the same post over and over every time they visit my blog, I recently visited my site with less expectation and more apprehension.

Alas, to my surprise, there are two things that are waiting for me. An invitation for an interview with Mirriam College students for their thesis – “Blogging in the Philippines”, and an award. You read it right, there’s another award. A recognition coming from the international blogging community. As I feared the worst, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. Therein lay my reward, a shining trophy cast in gold – my first Eddie.

Mga kababayan (My fellow countrymen), this brown man has made his mark in the world blogging scene. You are now visiting, and reading the post of the recipient of this year’s Eddie Awards’ Rookie of the Year.

Wow.

I owe it to a lot of people. First, to my countrymen (if this the first time you're reading this blog, please refer to previous posts and comments about the Philippines. You'd understand why I'm not being sarcastic and cheesy), for making me who I am. And the Philippines - a beautiful, colorful country. If not for her, I could’ve been a bland, shallow-minded person. Everything I learned I owe to experience. Everything I write I get from observations. Everything I proclaim are mere facts, the truth. All I do is ad words.

I also owe it to my friends in the blogosphere. Both local and abroad. To my brother in law, the Aquariandog for inspiring me to create a blog of my own without the need of persuasion. For Blair Mitch, a jolly good colleague whose posts about food inspires me to eat well, drink well, and well, be merry. And to all my newfound brothers and sisters – I could never stress it enough – for believing in me, reading my sometimes senseless posts, and accepting me as part of their blogging family. That’s Dirk, Meander, Skeet, Kat, Kate, Schaumi, Smalltown rn, and many more. To my fellow awardees, Whim and The Wizard. Thank you also to The Nameless One, eventhough he never returned my comment on one of his posts. To Mr. Novak, a very funny writer. To Erica and Cinderella, whose posts are as beautiful as they are. And to all those I forgot to mention, just holla (did I just say holla?) so I can revise.

This award is for all of you. Once again, thank you for keeping The Midnight Oil burning.

I couldn’t wish for a better Christmas. Now, if I could only hang this trophy on my Christmas tree…

By the way, did I say WOW?

There's no place like home (revised)

(Note: This post has been revised and updated. Changes and additions are written in italics.)

"Ok, Dorothy, just click those ruby slippers, follow your heart and say..."

Two days ago, I wrote about my fascination for snow and how I wished we have it here in our country so I could ski and make snow angels this Christmas. The post attracted a number of comments, most of which expressed appreciation for its candor and vivid descriptions of how we Filipinos celebrate the holiday season. Surprisingly, all of these comments were from people residing in the US.

In my 2 and a half months of blogging, I never thought nor imagined that my blog would be received by such a wide audience. And that a nurturing, open-minded host of diverse nationalities would adopt me as part of their blogging family.

For this, I am equally amused and flattered.

Let there be no mistake, I may be yearning for snow but I love being a Filipino. I am proud of the color of my skin and like Dorothy, I can say that there’s no place like home. There’s no place like the Philippine soil.

And so, it goes. I feel I have to do this. It is my responsibility – as a Filipino and as an adopted son to my blogging family, the only brown boy amidst white men and women - to tell you more about my beloved country.

If you really don’t care much about it, then stop reading. This post is not for you. But, if you are like me and a handful of people who would like to enrich their knowledge about different cultures, then by all means, carry on.

The Philippines is home to 7,1007 islands and some of nature’s greatest wonders. There’s the Rice Terraces, for instance, whom some tourists say, is the 8^th wonder of the world. Carved by the Ifugaos using only their bare hands hundreds of years ago, the terraces from the rocky mountain of Banaue is about 4,000 feet above the sea level. The total outline of this architectural wonder, otherwise known as the "stairways to the sky" is about 13,500 miles long, or about half the globe's circumference and ten times the length of the Great Wall of China.

We are also home to the world’s smallest volcano - Taal Volcano, a 406-meter-high crater, described as "a crater within an island within a lake" because it stands as an island at Taal Lake.

And, the world’s largest eagle -, the Philippine eagle. Not to mention some of the world’s finest beaches like Boracay, Palawan, and Siargao, and a host of other species you can only find in the country.

Filipinos are generally, happy people. We smile, even when we have problems. We laugh, even at times of crisis. We crack jokes about our own trials and tribulations. Where else can you find a TV coverage of a flashflood where children riding in make-shift bancas wave at the camera in delight, grabbing their 15 minutes of fame, while their house is sinking underwater? We make jokes about “Erap”, (deposed President Joseph Estrada) even if he is listed as the 10^th most corrupt leader in the world.

The Philippines is home to internationally-acclaimed talents. Here’s a list of famous celebrities who have Filipino blood running on their veins:

Theater: Lea Salonga, a Tony and Laurence Olivier awardee for her performance in Miss Saigon in Broadway.

Film: Dean Devlin (director/producer of Independence Day, Godzilla and The Patriot), Tia Carrere, Lou Diamond Philips, Phoebe Cates and Rob Schneider.

Music: Nicole Scherzinger (lead singer of Pussycat Dolls), Apl.de.ap of the Black Eyed Peas, Jasmine Trias (American Idol 3^rd placer), Mutya Buena of Sugababes and Jocelyn Enriquez, Julio Iglesias Jr. and Enrique Iglesias.

Here’s another music trivia – did you know that Latina-American pop star Christina Aguilera lost to Filipina vocalist Josephine Roberto aka Banig during the International Star Search years ago? In a mid-1999 MTV chat, she said that competing against someone of Banig's age was "not fair." Banig was a few years younger then than Christina. Hmmm…

Sports: Manny Pacquiao (who has beaten almost all of Mexico’s toughest warriors on the boxing ring including Erik “El Terible” Morales and Marco Antonio Barrera), Efren “The magician” ‘Bata’ Reyes (who has conquered the World 9 ball billiards championship so many times, he has become a living legend), bowling olympian Paeng Nepomuceno, and Eugene Torre, the first ever international Grandmaster from Asia who won at the Chess Olympiad in Nice, France in 1974

Speaking of movies, did you know that a lot of your favorite Hollywood films were shot in the Philippines? Among them are: Apocalypse Now, Platoon, Missing In Action, The year of living dangerously, Thirteen Days, Born on the 4^th of July, Brokedown Palace, An officer and a gentleman, and Hamburger Hill, among others.

Filipinos are a freedom-loving bunch. We were conquered, not once, not twice, but thrice! But our ancestors have always shown them that we Filipinos can really fight when our freedom is threatened.

First attempt was made by the Spaniards, led by no less than Ferdinand Magellan. It is also the reason why our country is called as such, as Magellan christened it after King Philip II of Spain. Unfortunately, it was also the last time he set foot on land, as brave Lapu-Lapu (a Filipino sultan or warrior) ended his life, also ending his circumnavigation of the globe.

The second was the Japanese, coinciding with World War 2. And the third, well, you guessed it right, the Americans. Though among the three, The Philippines lost on The Filipino-American Independence War from 1898 to 1902, and was colonized until 1946, when we regained our Independence.

It is in the Philippines where the first peaceful revolution began. The 1986 Edsa revolution is known worldwide as the first ever peaceful revolution. People fought soldiers, and blocked tanks using human barricades, holding hand in hand using only rosaries, flowers, and the power of prayer to oust the Marcos regime.

We are the first in Asia, to elect a female ruler. That's President Corazon Aquino, presiding the then fleeting Ferdinand Marcos. Right now, we have another female president in the presence of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, who rose to power because of Edsa 2. That's right, folks, there was a sequel.

We invented some of the world’s greatest inventions. A Filipino, by the name of Eduardo San Juan, invented the moon buggy. That’s right, the one that Neil Armstrong and his crew used to land in the moon. We also invented the fluorescent lamp. Thomas Edison discovered the electric light bulb and the fluorescent lighting was thought up by Nikola Tesla. But the fluorescent lamp we use today was invented by Agapito Flores, a Filipino scientist. And of course, how can we forget Roberto Del Rosario? He, after all, is the inventor of the Karaoke Sing Along System. (See “Sing it like you mean it” post below).

Filipinos love food, period. We are, naturally hearty eaters. Aside from three square meals a day, we’ve snacks in between – meriendas at 9 am and 3 pm. And if we stay up late, we have midnight snacks as well. We cannot drink beer without “pulutan” or any food served. We are also fond of using condiments whenever we eat – there’s vinegar, “patis” or fish sauce, soy sauce, “bagoong” or shrimp paste, “Mang Tomas sarsa” or lechon gravy, and the likes. I myself cannot eat without patis, suka, toyo (soy sauce), seasoning and catsup near the dining table.

The Philippines is the third largest english-speaking nation, next to the US (of course) and the UK.

There you have it. Just a string of facts about us Filipinos and our beloved country. I’m sure there are a lot more out there that I am unaware of – side stories, heritage passed from one generation to the next, that I, nor the internet are fully unaware of. For now, however, this collection of info would do, so you could get to know us better.

“The world is a small place, and we are but tiny creatures roaming around, bumping along each other. Why then, don’t we introduce ourselves to one another?”

I hope you find this post even the slightest bit informative and entertaining.

Thank you all for reading.